standstill

I ate so much today. I think I'm going to be obese tmr.

Currently hooked on ski divine! No it's not some winter sport it's a type of food. heh

Sigh. Now I know why there're a gazillion emo blogs floating around cyberspace. It really does get depressing staring at a blank white screen slowly fill up with black words that, halloa, come from your VERY OWN HEAD! Perfect environment for emo thoughts to flood through.

SORRY TO DISAPPOINT but today, my head isnt filled with such profound thoughts with which to feed on. I.. just.. can't.. do.. it...not today...(insert sobbing here.)

I miss my blog! And I know he misses me too!

Payday's next week. Things are looking up. :)

this is probably the first time in weeks that I feel bored.

Yesterday was different.

hm we went to din tai fung followed by roadside ice-cream and watched twilight. i thought it was a great movie and the soundtrack rocked. not to mention the actor. and the whole atmosphere suited my liking perfectly- bleak, gloomy and mysterious. aww.

then my parents brought me home fearing for my safety and I went out again for supper at sixth ave with melvin and javier. it was crazy. I don't know what dieticians (spelt correctly?) will say about eating pizza and fried calamari and chicken past midnight. Already I can feel the fat molecules forming their little chemical bonds in me. haha I don't know what I'm talking about; 3 arts subjects and math don't help much in this field. we played this mindless board game we found and realised at the end of it that we got scammed. lol. free tip of the day- always read the instructions!

why is it that people obsess over how eating at night makes them depressed the next day? not everyone, but I've heard that these things or people do exist. maybe they got confused with the effects of alcohol. because there's nothing like some junk food at night to let you go to sleep feeling satisfied and happy. come to think of it I did wake up feeling empty. but it definitely wasn't cos of the food. ok. I'm hungry

Yup, the day we all thought would never come. Actually now that cj is away I feel kind of remorseful (damn, should've stolen her condo all-access card yesterday), and I'm looking forward to her return! With what she promised for all of us. Lol. Hopefully her new 'amulet' will contribute to that well-anticipated return. That's if the suicide bombers there will be hippie enough to recognize a 'peace' sign when they see one. Well, some of them are educated in the West, right?

I'm beginning to question the very fact that I'm updating here. Maybe it's the blissful lack of the obligation we all felt pre and during A's-- must. study. every. minute. or. else. Whatever it is. Now that my long-awaited salary -IS HERE- imma indulge in a pint of B&J's Dublin Mudslide first thing tmr morning. When a senior brought it for a band lunch last year I just knew it was love at first mouth. But I digress. Yes, I'm binging. To make up for my depressing lack of anxiety. Crazy, I know.

A parting note- commitment sucks!

After the horrible ordeal today seemed so surreal. Our class spent AGES congesting the walkway and kept getting scolded by the security guard so we went to sports caf to chill cos it was raining. Darsh was so determined to go to the zoo lol. Anyway it was fun. I don't know why we were all so high.

Oh someone got attacked in the zoo today before we were there. Cj'c mom actually called to check if her daughter became tiger feed lol. Anyway it was really fun that's all I can say. I think our class is really united on the whole and everyone entertains everyone else in some way or other. Cos everyone's weird in their own way. Somehow wherever we went was marked by a cacophony of incessent noise because we were all so high. And Eunice displayed a marked obsession in animals esp giant crocodiles lol we had to make a detour just to satisfy her longing to see them. Lol it's quite funny. Towards the end the tired people nic cj nat lih shaan lihyuan gerri eunice darsh and I retired to KFC (ok when have I begun listing) while everyone else for some reason had so much stored energy to spare. But for the first time in ages its like the exhaustion was due to exhilaration and not reading some stupid notes lol. It felt goood.

In short everything about it was exciting in some way or other but right now im too drained to think why.

Today I felt really blessed for my friends Nic CJ Jan and of course the best pal lol esp the latter two who were so self-sacrificial. I think they deserve a thumbs-up or maybe even a round of applause. :D heh. ok maybe a little more than that.

 

 

HELLO! It's been ages! Words cannot suffice to describe what's been going on but here goes anyway!

120909- my birthday!

Which was extremely special despite the tragic fact that we got our prelim grades back on this day as well. On this fateful day I learnt that my 'droogs' or 'best pals' are really as crazy as I've always suspected them to be. Ok you may call it imaginative or innovative I guess. Their present(s) was hilarious and I couldn't stop myself from laughing despite how embarrassing it was to be unwrapping presents in the candeck. In retrospect I guess this explains why they were behaving strangely before this day. Like animals before an earthquake occurs. To think I believed Jan when she said Divi forgot to bring my present which was 'a paper japanese fan' lol. They deserve to be strangled but I love them anyway. The 6 of us rushed out to IKEA for a meatball lunch (interesting things happened but I won't elaborate here) and back for our results and I think we all did pretty well. Must've been the birthday luck radiating so you guys better thank me heh.

Dinner was unforgettable! We went to Marche and it reminded me so much of Swiss days. Then we went to chill at some outdoor cafe that had this great ambience. I love it! Everything was simply perfect- setting, mood but most importantly the company. Oh and the second round of presents too. I felt really reeeally happy. It was the best thing that happened. Thank you so much! =)

Ogay now I shall talk abt sch. Geog lectures with Mrs Meow really are enriching to the soul and so are mr ksl's tutorials that give us well-toned abs from all the corny jokes.But the ultimate best is still gp cos strange things always happen and I finally caught one such incident on camera. You'll get the shivers from it cos it's really creepy.

Speaking of creepy, GP lessons really petrify me. The expressions, everything.

I love how we're actively involved in class discussions and yet find the time to enrich our souls in various other ways. It's what they call 'holistic learning'. What we go to school for. Ok farhan said im full of shit but that's part of what we learn in school nowadays isn't that right?

I love how my friends watch Noose and re-enact evrything out exactly the way its supposed to be. Now I don't have to wry about missing any episodes cos I have instant replay in schl lol. Thanks guys and don't miss this week's episode. Heh.

I'm so tired! All the best to econs paper tmr Lekey go and own it like someone we both love. 

I left my heart in Europe.

Seriously.

All I can think of is the weather there. You can wear a sweater 24/7 and not feel uncomfortably warm. The trivial worries that I had whilst I was there. My roomie! The people in my section I knew I could trust. The 3-course meals every single day! The ice-cream everywhere! The lack of work. The freedom (of a certain kind). It was like escapism. The excitement of staying in a new hotel almost every day. The fear of opening the hotel room door for the first time (heh my roomie knows this feeling too). Waking up before the morning call every day. The late night activities. Whining with those I was closest to. The meaningful personal talks in our room with some of my section mates that opened my eyes about some things in band. Teasing my roomie about being auntie.

THE COWS! CHOCOLATES! THE COMPANY! All the trials we had while we were there taught me so much and made the trip more meaningful than it could ever be.

I am most grateful for those who were honest and 'covered my ass'. The concern you guys showed. It was more than what I could've asked for.

I regret nothing about it. It was simply beautiful. =)

We got top band too. But that was nothing compared to the rest of the trip.

My stomach still thinks I'm there. I feel hungry 6 hours after each meal here. Haha. And I'm not one bit tired now. I love Europe! It will never be the same even if I were to go back now. Cos it's the experience that made it so special to me. =)

I LOVE SCHOOL.

It gives me the illusion that my life is being spent productively and the sense that I'm in the right place at the right time. I just love the feeling of school. And I love the company of my friends. There's always something interesting to laugh about or contemplate -intellectually- over. heh today we were re-enacting certain scenes from Whose line is it and Friends for fun. It was crazy hilarious.

(CJ is the donut on the left the one you were talking about?)

JAN I havent finished watching darjeeling yet. Fast-forwarded it to the credits song! haha. I wanna learn how to sing it and memorize like every single french word in it.

Hmm today we saw living proof that our canteen food isn't really all that great or nourishing. It's really worrying. Oh my. Something's got to be done, and quick! o_o

 

Today was our first day of work. It was appalling.

How I wish I knew how to speak in dialect. Life would be so much simpler.

but I
Would have it ever Spring:
My fate would know no Winter, never die,
Nor think of such a thing.

-Terry King

How I wish the above is optional.

I'm in the mood to kill people now. Rrr.

 

I miss school. Not because of work or anything. I miss the company of my clique- the endless teasing and laughing, the -rare- dilligent moments together and the underlying shared desire to slack.

b.e.r.n says:

ah joy guess what i actually miss school not cos of the lessons but cos of the fun times

b.e.r.n says:

like the crap we normally come up with

b.e.r.n says:

okay not crap but intelligent and witty remarks

I share Bern's sentiments. Unfortunately 'holidays' for me literally translates to band, band and more band. With the occasional parties and sleepovers and outings and cip that's really refreshing.

I sense an upcoming stay-up-and-out-together-all-night stint. =)

Ok the following is for the five of you. I actually miss you!

b.e.r.n says:

i saw the pic with me in it that says depression awareness campaign poster girl

b.e.r.n says:

the one on your blog

b.e.r.n says:

hahaha it's actually quite funny

joy francisco says:

HAHA

joy francisco says:

you and cephas

joy francisco says:

tsk

b.e.r.n says:

sigh

b.e.r.n says:

i shouldn't have posed when you guys told me too

b.e.r.n says:

*to

joy francisco says:

why not! =(((

joy francisco says:

one day when we're old and wrinkly we'll look back and laugh at our intelligence

b.e.r.n says:

cos i wasn't actually depressed

b.e.r.n says:

HAHAHA yes yes

b.e.r.n says:

it's really funny

joy francisco says:

haha you look depressed ion that pic

b.e.r.n says:

I KNOW

joy francisco says:

luckily i didnt reveal your identity ok!

b.e.r.n says:

hey!

joy francisco says:

haha

b.e.r.n says:

hahaha the beauty of having your pic taken from the back

b.e.r.n says:

oh we can sell it to like the community care services

b.e.r.n says:

i could do with more pretty polly

joy francisco says:

HAHAHA

joy francisco says:

or like to the govt

b.e.r.n says:

Yeah

joy francisco says:

and suggest having the campaign

joy francisco says:

we'll be national heroes!

b.e.r.n says:

OH MY

b.e.r.n says:

im getting really excited

b.e.r.n says:

after our failed attempt at finding mas selamat

b.e.r.n says:

we must succeed with this one!

b.e.r.n says:

hahahaha

joy francisco says:

it's sad to have lofty ambitions of becoming national heroes

b.e.r.n says:

no this time our ambitions will finally become a reality!

b.e.r.n says:

gee who am i kidding

joy francisco says:

one day they'll have our pictures on milo tins like how they have team singapore pple on them

b.e.r.n says:

NO way..

b.e.r.n says:

that's too cool

b.e.r.n says:

we can finally make that national day speech we've always wanted to make

joy francisco says:

yea man

joy francisco says:

its so hard to imagine

joy francisco says:

the glitz and glamour of being the pioneers of the depression awareness campaign

joy francisco says:

its be made a national holiday i tell you

b.e.r.n says:

HAHAHA

joy francisco says:

*itll

b.e.r.n says:

we won't have to study anymore

b.e.r.n says:

people will offer us jobs

b.e.r.n says:

let's change our clique outing from ac's stage to the padang

joy francisco says:

yay!

joy francisco says:

or like the istana

joy francisco says:

the president may hire us to be his advisors

joy francisco says:

just think of it!

b.e.r.n says:

i wanna live in that room at the fifth floor!

b.e.r.n says:

hahaha okay i don't know which one

joy francisco says:

and cj's dream of becoming the next finance minister will become reality

b.e.r.n says:

OH yeah

joy francisco says:

HAHAHA istana has five floors?!?!?

b.e.r.n says:

no meh

 

SATS results are out! The horror. I'm still contemplating on whether or not to jump on the bandwagon with my (kiasu) friends next Jan and strive for perfect score which seems to be their ultimate goal. Heh. All the geniuses, one by one. Still, I'm happy with my grades!

Today was the first time since 2 yrs in ACJC band that I managed to explain myself to Dr Lee. Thanks to Vivien for telling me what I needed to know. =)

I guess sometimes. In the face of something painful a person would rather live in self-denial, choosing to return to that pain time and again. Because breaking apart from it would only force you to think of how bad it truly hurts you. You tell yourself that it's all part of the process when in fact not you, nor anyone else, deserves such punishment. I'm happy now. Beneath the disappointment that is.

Funeral funeral funeral. It reminded me of the old times. I love them.

Sorry for this post-

That just about sums up everything that's been happening in class this week.

On Monday Ceph and Kai decided that it was our beloved GP and econs tutors' birthday. They bought them each a slice of cake from the canteen and did the whole birthday surprise thing- switched off the lights and walked into class with the lighted-candled-cake while everyone else sang the birthday song. Our econs tutor played along and went "How did you guys know??" Haha. As for our GP tutor things went more interestingly.

She came into class demanding that we start on our essays and suddenly Kai Ceph and Bern disappeared. Then Kai popped back in to switch the lights off AND SHE SWITCHED THEM BACK ON, looking at kai as if he were crazy. This silent cycle of action between Kai and her repeated for awhile until she finally gave up. Then in came the cake and the expression on her face was priceless. Anyway it was all done with the good intention of brightening up her day and I hope she saw it that way too. =) We were, unfortunately, unable to circumvent that dreaded essay.

It being Dheraj's birthday today the class wanted to surprise him with 18 pratas but the vendor didnt have enough or something. So we made do with 8 and he looked like some little boy unable to finish the food on his plate. Haha. Watching Eunice resort to all sorts of measures to prevent him from walking to the canteen to buy his own food was truly entertaining. But the surprise was still a success, I'd say.

I really enjoy being in aa3 cos everyone's so different (duh) but we somehow overcome our differences and I'd say we're quite bonded as a class. =)

CHENG JIA BRING MY HAIRBAND TMR.

 

We're all sick.

For my friends and I, it's the flu. Our whole clique is infected. 

For others who're also sick, it's prob something to do with their brains.

CJ and I are quarrelling. About whether PUMP IT is still in or not. Haha. The unpredictability of human brains. You can be the smartest genius in the world and still do stupid things. =)

I -actually- love you.

Yesterday Jan Cheng and I had dinner at some Italian restaurant that has the atmosphere of an autentic European pub and it was great. The waitress was funny and Jan and I embarrassed Cj who was too mature to have fun haha. The food was good too. We got rather high and people must have thought we were weird but who cares. Pics will be posted one day.

Guitar concert was interesting but BERN WHERE WAS OUR DEDICATION?!?

Supper was haagen daaz followed by tango's. It was crazy but immensely fun cos of all the lame jokes and comments going around, something that's quite common for us now. Esp at tango's, the incident of Jan's drink and the waiter was truly priceless.

We have lofty ambitions indeed. Someday, we'll own that tower.

 

It's this weird propensity to listen to the same song on repeat mode that drives me crazy. On repeat mode meaning listening to one song for a few days and nothing else. And then you get the words stuck in your head even when you need that peace. Your brain subconsciously blocks out the song and every note sounds like a monotone drone to you. The obsession you have with it wanes.

You can't help but start looking for a new song to fill your life with because the other songs have been exhausted and nullified as well. Your ipod is filled with what seems like a cacophony of senseless, incessant noise. Yes, there're the timeless songs that stick with you throughout but you still crave the respite from familiarity, that adrenaline rush you get when your aural senses are gratified.

It's really sad. I'm not doing the musicians nor the music any justice. I really should kick this habit soon.

 

 

Laugh till you frown

Swim till you drown

               L o v e  till  you  h a t e

Strong till you break.

 

 

are simple instructions for all you bored and lonely people.

Actually I change my mind. Ask CJ to do it for you.

Somehow there's this reluctance to leave my livej

I love the feeling of a clean slate. It gives one a certain obligation to leave one's mark all over it. Don't you think so? Like like how people in school can never bear to see a flawless table surface and must certainly go about defacing it or else. That doesn't refer to yours truly of course. 

So I guess this marks the demise of my livejournal.

-ponders over this for a few seconds- Well, that's life.

Why I chose multiply? I liked the sound of it. Multiply. It reminds me of what you hear at wedding ceremonies, "Go forth and multiply!" and that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Something like how I like the sound of one of CJ's weird exclamatory sounds which I have quite recently mastered. Not because it actually sounds nice (no offence, CJ) but really because it's actually quite addictive to produce once you've mastered it. Which believe me, takes great skill and versatility. Honestly. Try it. Listed below ournal behind. So me thinks I'll alternate between the two.

Sam :WHAT A SMALL WORLD. I'm slightly worried because your character+him=not a good outcome. But I have faith in you. And it's still too early to say. GOOD LUCK AND KEEP ME UPDATED. I LOVE YOU TREMENDOUSLY.